You don't have the title. You don't control the budget. You can't make anyone do anything.

And yet some people, with the same limitations, seem to get yes after yes.

The difference isn't charisma. It's not luck. It's a system most people never learn.

Here's the framework I've used to get buy-in from C-suites, government committees, and clients who started the conversation with "no."

Step 1: Lower the Threat

Before you pitch anything, reduce the other person's defensive response. Chris Voss calls this "tactical empathy," but the principle is simpler: acknowledge their reality before asking them to enter yours.

Start with what they're worried about. Name it before they have to.

"I know the timing on this is tight and you've got three other priorities competing for attention..."

You've now positioned yourself as someone who gets it, not someone adding to their problems.

Step 2: Align With Identity

People say yes to things that match how they see themselves. Your job is to frame your ask as something "a person like them" would naturally do.

For a data-driven executive: "Given your track record of making evidence-based calls..."

For a risk-averse manager: "Since protecting the team is your priority..."

You're not manipulating. You're helping them see that saying yes is consistent with who they already are.

Step 3: Shrink the Ask

Big asks trigger big resistance. The solution isn't to ask for less, but to make the first step smaller.

Instead of "approve this project," try "give me 15 minutes to show you the pilot results."

Instead of "hire me," try "let me handle one small piece and prove the concept."

Small yeses create momentum. Momentum creates big yeses.

Step 4: Create Safe Exits

People resist commitment when they feel trapped. Give them an out, and paradoxically, they become more likely to stay.

"If this doesn't hit the benchmarks in 30 days, we kill it. No questions."

The safety net makes the jump feel survivable.

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This framework works because it addresses the three emotional blockers I mentioned yesterday: threat response, effort perception, and identity mismatch.

Robert Cialdini's research on pre-suasion confirms it: what you do before making a request matters more than the request itself. The setup determines the outcome.

Corporate application: Use this before asking for promotions, project approvals, budget increases, or cross-functional support. Lower threat first, align with their identity, shrink the initial commitment, provide a safe exit.

Creator application: Use this on sales calls, partnership pitches, and client negotiations. The prospect who feels understood and un-pressured is the prospect who buys.

AI can help you move faster, but real leadership still requires human judgment.

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Before your next important ask, run through this:

Print this. Use it before every pitch, proposal, and presentation.

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